<Insert a hypothetical rant about hypothetical jerks that surround my cube>
Not that any of these ass clowns would recognize themselves:
- Mr "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm" who says only that - over, and over, and over, while on phone calls with someone. It appears to be the wife he comes here early and stays late to avoid. Seriously, try listening to this for 15 minutes at a pop, 3-4 times in the span of the 2 hours that his shift overlaps yours. He makes me pro death penalty some days, and suicidal others. Lucky for me I haven't hit homicidal yet.
- Mr Sports Dude. I watch enough ESPN that I really do not need a complete replay of every sporting event with the possible exceptions of curling and dodge ball. Your voice makes me long for the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. Ok, we get it. You obviously have a small penis and are over compensating with your supposed knowledge of sports. Many times verbatim of what I just saw on SportsCenter last night. (Excuse me while I turn up my Vevo playlist to drown him out. The Cowboys won last night. Ugh)
- Mr Know-it-the-fuck-all. Your delusions of IT glory might be pretty amusing, if I understood a fucking thing you are talking about. I never hear anyone else respond, so thanks for the soliloquies. The least you could do is learn something about sports and try to get a word in with Mr Sports Dude. Get off Mashable once in a while and take an interest in something human and you might even get laid.
- Mr Foul Mouth. Yeah, I say fuck now and then, but I don't do it anymore at work. It's 2011, we have female guests here, and that will be your undoing. I hope. Oh, and FYI, no one with an ounce of maturity really wants to recreate the high school locker room at work. Really.
- Mr Political Activist. I cannot even begin to express how retarded your spewing about politics sounds to me. Especially when I hear the same diatribes several times every month.
Phew. Thanks. A special (non solicited and non compensated) thanks to Bose for these headphones that have done nothing less than help me keep my fucking job today.
