Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A glimpse into the secret world of the Cavemaster's diet...


What I'm having post workout. The Butterfinger ice cream diet is a less well-known version of the Paleo-bullshit diet I've read so much about. Somehow I think it can easily beat out a diet that would stop the world from eating bagels. The Gatorade just happened to be in my bag and the Advil I'm sure I will need tonight! What would amaze my ex wife is that I can eat that small of a serving of ice cream and be satisfied. I used to eat ice cream by the quart in one sitting. It amazes me today.
From my "Paleo-bullshit" diet comment, you might guess I'm not a fan of the Paleo movement. I know a couple of people that are so pro-Paleo they are like total food Nazis. As anyone that knows me can attest, I am no big fan of anything that people are fanatical about. I hate fad diets, and I've seen a lot of people come and go with them. As far as I've gone in my life was a couple bouts with Weight Watchers. Highly successful ones, if you want to look at the pounds lost. Total failures, if you want to look at the pounds regained. In the end, although they tell you that you can eat anything you want, that is total BS. Two bites of ice cream will piss me off, not help me feel "as though I really had all I want". Call me spoiled, but I don't do well with feeling boxed in with what I can and can't eat. Food became an enemy rather than a necessary fuel. I'd rather be the roughly 20 pounds over my ideal weight I am right now, and as fit as I am right now, than go back to that food obsessive drive to monitor everything I ate. It's worked wonders for a lot of people, and that is cool by me. I am only relating my own experience. I've learned over the years that a true lifestyle change that you feel you can live with is the only thing that will work long term for me. Many people can work the diet angle much better than I can, and don't want (or enjoy) exercise. But me, I would rather be really fit - able to run or cycle long distances and hit the gym regularly. It's Mother Nature's Prozac for me, and I need it most days. 
My job is a very sedentary one for the most part, and working the graveyard shift 4 nights a week for 10 hours plays havoc with my sleep schedule. Cycling back to night sleeping after 4 days of fitful sleep in the daytime is not easy, or conducive to weight loss either. A lot of studies are showing how important sleep is for weight loss, and I believe them. I'm also the lightest sleeper I have ever known, so I take Ambien nightly (or daily during the week) to sleep. My life was a hell before Ambien, and even though it can make me eat much more sometimes, I can't sleep well without it, if at all. 
One really cool thing I have learned is that once I get back into shape and working out consistently, I naturally start making better choices when I eat. Most of the time. I still love me some junk food sometimes, and I always will. A man has to have some vices. I don't smoke (Ewwww) and I don't chase prostitutes (they can mostly outrun me) so the occasional Big Mac it is. My last physical I had the best numbers I've ever had. I also had a heart CT scan, which showed ZERO plaque in my arteries and predicted a 0% chance of heart disease. So I'm guessing my modified "see food" diet is working just fine.  Your mileage may very. 
Oh, and the Cavemaster nickname? Given to me by my ex back when Megan was a baby. I had a very tiny office I could escape the madness of 3 kids and a lab into, and it became my "Cave". I think every married guy should have one, especially if they are a introvert like I am.